The fragility of the male ego through the lens of “Eyes Wide Shut”
My ego is definitely fragile.
The male ego is so fragile, it's unfortunate there’s no insurance to protect it. Such a company could make millions catering to fragile egos in today’s world. The moment a man’s self-esteem or self image is challenged by the outside world, they turn to online incels that help them try to rehabilitate their egos back into alpha status.
In Stanley Kubric’s psychological thriller “Eyes Wide Shut,” Dr. Bill Harford’s ego takes a beating after his wife, Alice, confesses she had a sexual fantasy about another man. Hearing her confessions makes him feel like he’s lost control of the relationship. The gaze he once believed was his alone no longer existed, leaving his ego in fragments. Her confession drives Bill into a spiral of desperation where he seeks validation from other women. The search helps him reveal the vulnerability that exists behind his mask.
After hearing about Alice’s sexual fantasy, he gets a call from one of his patients that he uses as a way to examine his situation with his wife. Bill roams the streets of New York, fixated on a fantasy his wife merely described.
Bill's obsessive odyssey starts with approval from his patient's daughter who confesses her love for him. The small taste of affirmation feeds into his ego, leading him to search for more of it. While he walks the streets, he encounters a sex worker that allows him to be in control, the feeling he lost with his wife. Bill’s relentless pursuit of approval underscores his fragile ego’s need for affirmation. The women he meets are throwing themselves on him. They make Bill feel desirable and allow him to ignore his own feelings.
They momentarily restore what he feels he’s lost with his wife. It’s just the kind of medicine he needs to mend his broken ego. If a modern man had the same experience, he would turn to some alienated podcaster charging men hundreds of dollars just to turn them into the top dog they deserve to be.
It isn’t until Bill fears for his life that he chooses to face his vulnerability. During his two-night adventure, Bill finds his way into a secret society orgy. He enters the party with a mask, hiding his true identity but he is spotted by a woman that informs him of the danger he’s in. After the party, he feels he is being followed. Bill’s concerns drive him to lift the mask off and actually talk to his wife about his experience.
Modern men need to confront their own emotions rather than hiding behind caricatures of masculinity crafted by others. Vulnerability is often mistaken for weakness, but it is the foundation of manhood. Bill’s spiral ultimately forces him to remove his mask and face the truth, but not all men are given the chance to fear their life. Without such a reckoning, they risk staying trapped, forever seeking validation from incels on the internet.